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Sunday, May 13, 2012

Are you mom enough?

"The strength of
motherhood is greater
than natural laws."
- Barbara Kingsolver. 
Time magazine's latest cover - as one other blogger put it, "I was going to write a post about Time's cover and then realized everyone and her sister already had." True that. I don't have much to add except my disgust over their screaming headline, more than anything, and how my version of "Are you mom enough?" has little if anything to do with extended breastfeeding and attachment parenting.

My version came to me in a vision the other night when I was clipping my son's toenails, of all things: thinking, I am mom enough because I can do this without throwing up into the trashcan. I'm sure Time wasn't thinking about how gross and sometimes downright odd 8-year-old boys can be.

If only their article read something like this instead: "You'll know you're mom enough when you can..."

• hold a vomiting toddler whose poor little body is so tired and sick he falls asleep the minute his head hits the pillow...

• you've long traded in your fancy sweaters for the ones that are covered in spit-up and boogers, and you like it...

• you can withstand hearing all of your children whining, crying, screaming and yelling "Mom mom mom mom mom" 800 times in a row without losing your mind...

• you keep your cool despite your toddler going into full-blown meltdown mode in the grocery store over a single grape...

• you aren't phased when your child comes to you and says, "Mom, I found this booger," extending a finger for you to see the evidence...

• still return to church even after your newborn had a noisy blowout during a silent part of the service...

• endure watching the same Thomas the Train episode on auto play for an entire 800-mile car ride...

• and, as one person put it, "Get a baby out of your uterus and then take care of it." Yep, pretty much!

We need to remember that we can be friends with people who think differently than we do, that we should be friends with people who have a different mindset, instead of sealing ourselves inside a bubble. We can learn from each other, from our mistakes, and get - and receive - support from people who have been there. As moms, we will probably always judge each other's choices, but Time's headline doesn't help - and only adds gasoline to the blaze. Don't buy into it, ladies - don't let them, or anyone else, polarize us like that - because in the end, no matter what our choices are or how much they differ, ultimately some things will always be the same.

3 comments:

RaeRae said...

Yes!

Paala said...

Have I commented on any of your posts yet? I subscribe on google reader and that makes me wonder if you can see readers who only read via readers and don't usually click on your link to read. Anyway, I love this part, "you can withstand hearing all of your children whining, crying, screaming and yelling "Mom mom mom mom mom" 800 times in a row without losing your mind..." Oh yes. Also, you should add a "funny" reaction up there. I hope you don't mind if I quoted you on my blog today - http://doublethink.us.com/paala/2012/05/15/sweet-links-babysitter-fail-celebrities-who-breastfed-toddlers-cow-milk-youths-thoughts-on-birth/

The Deranged Housewife said...

I don't know, Paala... I'll have to look into it. I don't know much if anything about Google reader - have you made comments and they're not showing up?

Thanks for the link! :)