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Saturday, December 18, 2010

"They're coming to take me away!"

Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images
I couldn't help but think of the Tiny Tim song when I read last week about how comedian Chris Rock helped a pregnant woman in the mall when her water broke. I'm sure she was embarrassed - most people seem to be worried sick in the last weeks of pregnancy that something like this will happen. In all my years on this planet, though, I have never seen it happen in public, and don't know anyone else that's witnessed it, either.

Apparently Chris made a valiant effort to make the woman laugh and calm her down after the "pregnancy drama," as the Daily Mail calls it. As she was heading for the escalator, she 'started to go into labor,' and as one eyewitness put it, "She recognized immediately who he was and he stayed there until paramedics came and took her away."

Seriously? You'd probably have enough time to finish your shopping, go home and shower, change, eat a bowl of cereal and then walk around until contractions got stronger, then head to the hospital. As of press time, there was no word on the mother's or the baby's condition, but I bet we can guess, judging by the way things got started.

And don't you love the headline? "Chris Rock Rescues Pregnant Woman." They make it sound like she was dangling from a 40-story window and he just happened to catch her or something. Since when is spontaneous rupture of membranes an emergency? What, were they afraid she'd decide to set up camp in the mattress department and give birth in the middle of Macy's?

Side note: I bet Chris Rock would make a great doula.


Mrs. Obie said...

That's great that he actually took the time to help her though. And I agree, he probably would make an amazing doula.

Though, if my water had broken in the middle of the mall, I would have delivered there with my most recent. It was 14 minutes between the time my water broke and the time I delivered. But then again, I probably wouldn't have been at the mall anyway.

The Deranged Housewife said...

Then the mattress department at Macy's is looking better and better all the time. LOL

I think of all the women who've had their water broken, or it's broken on its own, and then nothing happens. For hours. Hence that beloved "24 Hour rule" that probably leads to a fair number of primary cesareans. Grrr...

Heather Griffith Brewer said...

Ok, this made me roll around on the floor laughing my ass off!
That's hilarious! I have yet to "see" someones water break in public, but my friends water broke in Dairy Queen. (I am so not kidding)
Mt grandmother told me to carry a bottle of pickles around for the last few weeks, then if my water broke all I had to do was drop the pickle jar and I WOULD BE SAVED! As if that would make sense in the middle of Macys.

H2Obaby said...

I think my water just broke... No wait that was me peeing my pants laughing after that story. Thanks for sharing.

The Deranged Housewife said...

My water broke in front of the nurses' station, thankfully not all over our freshly-detailed car interior. BUT it was not at the mall. AROM with a chux pad is a lot more convenient and less mess, you know? Grr...

Anonymous said...

With my second child, my water broke as I was biting into a Pizza Hut's pizza slice. It freaked me out because there was water and meconium coming out of me. Every movement of the baby or contraction a new jet of water came out. My bathroom got drenched.

I called the hospital to tell them what happened. They said I needed to come in. When I asked if I could just stay home and wait until my contractions got a little stronger to go in, you could hear their expression of "Duh, is this woman crazy?" on the other end of the line.

I was so ignorant. They made a big deal of the meconium in the water. It was by far my worst labor and birth. They gave me some drug and I was delusional in the middle of the night. When morning came, they gave me Pitocin and an epidural. At the end between 8 and 10cm the epidural wasn't working, the needle had moved (they kept turning me because the Pitocin was stressing the baby - I found that out later) and I was in excruciating pain because I couldn't get off the bed and birth my best and preferred way - on my knees (I found that out with my 3rd and 4th child).

At one point, my son had half his arm out of my 4cm dialated cervix - that's how distressed he was after the night drug and the Pitocin. Of course the doctor suggested a C-section. We refused and asked if there wasn't something else he could do. He said he could try pushing my son's arm back and we agreed.

Praise God it worked and I delivered him vaginally without any other interventions but the ones mentioned above. I made sure to get out of that hospital in the next 24 hs and to find out the truth about labor and delivery.

I am also glad that my DH finally agreed to a homebirth and interventions were no more. I was able to deliver my 3rd baby at home. My 4th at the hospital on my terms: no interventions and on my knees. I have a video of myself screaming "leave me alone!" as I was pushing the baby out because they kept trying to check me, give me Pitocin, make me sign papers and other stuff while I was laboring.

Hospitals are for the sick and not laboring Moms who need so quiet and peace. :)

The Deranged Housewife said...

Wow, what an amazing story! I definitely think that if women are allowed to get into the "zone" - if they just realized that there IS a "zone" - it would help them so much to focus and JUST BIRTH.