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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Why I Think People Hate the Duggars

So. Michelle and husband Jim Bob have welcomed their 19th child, a daughter, into the world. Sadly the baby is premature, but stands a nearly 85 percent chance of recovering fully, which I hope she does. Every time I read a story about these people, it makes my blood boil. Not because of them, or what their beliefs are, etc. etc. but because of the nasty, irritating comments people leave with these articles. Just horrible hatred, mostly. Idiocy cloaked in comments like "think of what it's doing to the environment," or "God gave her a brain," blah blah blah. Yeah, whatever. I'm sure Michelle Duggar doesn't wake up every morning and suddenly realize, "Hey, I have 19 children!" I'm sure she's thought of all that crap before. Sometimes it's hard to put your finger on just WHAT people have a problem with. Some say that with each child, they are posing more risks to the mother and her baby. Yes, that's true. But pregnancy can be a risk to anyone, regardless of age. (Imagine, then, if they'd known she did a VBAC - my goodness, the comments then! *sarcasm*) Women who are perfectly healthy can go on to have disabled, sickly children, miscarry, or have serious problems in pregnancy. And with all the women over 40 running around pregnant with multiples, I don't hear a flood of negative comments about that - since they are considered a 'high-risk' group for problems. People who are sooooo concerned about her internal organs, child's health and safety, blah blah blah....where are these same people when a premature infant is admitted to the hospital after being born to healthy, young parents who have just had their first child? Other moronic comments I've heard: "They are over-populating the planet!" Yeah, and so is just about everyone else. Yet, at the same time, people *are* dying! Novel idea, huh? "They are contributing to greenhouse gases/increasing their carbon footprint!" Supposedly, I've heard the Duggars lead a pretty "green" lifestyle, which is a term that I personally detest. They may do it to cut down on trash in their household, or to get money from recycled goods to offset their expenses; who knows. As one commenter wisely said, though, who's to say that one of their children couldn't solve the "problem" of "global warming"? Be the next president? Nobel Peace Prize winner? Curer of cancer? Hmm...kind of makes you think. "A uterus isn't a clown car!" OK, this one came from, among others, a friend of mine, so I'll stop short in calling her 'moronic.' However, I still think that it's Michelle's uterus, not ours, so she can do with it what she wants. Not that long ago, women routinely had large families. And dealt with it. Before the age of the internet, cable television, talking toys and yes, birth control, women had their kids - lots of 'em - and made do with what they had. They didn't live a lifestyle of expensive family vacations, second homes and three cars (unless they were insanely wealthy, I'm guessing) because they spent that money on their children, and were okay with that. I'm guessing that if Michelle Duggar were on her 19th abortion instead of pregnancy, people would be saying "It's her body." Because, after all, if you have more than 2.5 children, you're considered "brave," or an anomaly, at best. I think most people who think so negatively of the Duggars really can't put their finger on why they dislike them so much, either. But if hard-pressed -- like, if they were waterboarded in a room with terrorists -- I think they'd probably admit they don't like them because of certain things about their lifestyle. Like: • They're Christians! Yes, they do believe in God, and they live their lives as such. How dare they actually a) profess their love of Christ?! and b) actually mean it!? You mean Christians are really supposed to do that, instead of just say, "Yeah, I'm a Christian. I believe God exists!" *insert deep sigh here* So that makes them the perfect target for hate, and labeled as a bunch of nuts, all wrapped up into one convenient package. Can you imagine, allowing God to let you know when it's time to stop having kids?! (Much to my husband's chagrin, I believe in this, too, but I will say I'm not going to let God talk me into having 19. LOL) • They live debt-free. In these hard economic times, it's hard for people to get by. It seems it always is hard for people to get by, though, when they decide to spend their money on meaningless crap instead of invest wisely or save - this much seems true of any economic situation. The 'don't buy what you can't afford' mentality of our grandparents and great-grandparents is a dead philosophy, ushering in the 'buy it because it'll make you feel good, even though you don't really need it!' approach. Since the Duggars manage to live without debt, in a house big enough to comfortably hold all those people, in spite of hard economic times, it makes them even more hateable. Like the old Morrissey song says, "We hate it when our friends become successful." We despise seeing people succeed where most others have failed, and feel like because we're struggling, they should, too. How dare they?! In the end, I think people mostly detest them because they're different. Just like a group of chickens who peck a strange-looking bird until it dies, we mostly like to denigrate them because they do things a bit differently than the norm, like homeschool all their kids, raise a super-large family, and manage to turn out a nice, well-behaved bunch of (normal) kids. How can they get any alone time? They can't, just like I can't with my husband and I only have three kids. Some things, regardless of size and shape, are always the same.


Mork said...

I'm so glad my great-grandparents decided to have 11 children. Otherwise I wouldn't be here right now.

Heidi said...

Hi! After reading your comments on My OB Said What!? for months, I just discovered your blog! I LOVE it, and this post was fantastic. I especially loved the part about people being happy with a simpler lifestyle in order to support their kids. Great job!