A Quiet Advocacy

Of the few friends I have who have either VBACed or had a homebirth, I've never understood why they aren't more outspoken advocates of their experiences. Maybe they just don't have the time to devote, or the desire, seeing their "alternative" birth as a once-and-done experience and are ready to move on to something else. In my circle of friends, I seem to be the one loud-mouthed person who is writing about it, reading about it, talking about it, and I wish that could change.

When I was pregnant with my second, I had no intention of having a VBAC at first. A woman from my church quietly took me aside and asked if I had ever considered having one, and I said I wasn't sure and they sounded too dangerous, blah blah blah. In fact, I had never done any research on them at that point, and just thought a repeat cesarean was my only option. She herself had had a long, arduous vaginal birth, bargaining with her doctor to be allowed more time to labor, finally delivering a baby boy with a nuchal hand. In short, a real "birth warrior" who was exercising her rights and being her own patient advocate at a difficult time. After that, though, probably because she was done having children, her interest in advocating childbirth choices seemed to fade into the background, at least until she spoke to me.

Little did either of us know that, in my 37th week of pregnancy, I'd be calling her on the phone at 10 p.m. to ask about her VBAC. Not what either of us ever expected!

I liken those parallels to some of the celebrities we know of who have had either a natural birth (more on that later) or a homebirth. There is no shortage of them, and websites galore list them. If you were to picture a mental list of celebrity homebirthers, Ricki Lake and Gisele Bundchen would probably top the list. And that's okay - they're both outspoken and educated about it, passing on that information to any and all who can benefit from it. Gisele does have a blog, and while her primary focus seems to be on the environment, she does devote some space to childbirth.

Some would argue that perhaps the reason we're so familiar with Ricki's stance on birth is because, thank God, she's made a movie about it. Whatever it takes! It got our attention (whether good or bad), and people know she's a staunch advocate of homebirth and choices in childbirth. But where the heck is everyone else?!

Dozens of celebrities have had homebirths, and only one I can think of has VBACed - Kate Winslet. I remember reading awhile back how she lied about the birth of her first child because she felt ashamed or a sense of failure over her c-section. Not uncommon, sadly. However, I'm not sure she really tooted the VBAC Horn, either, and I think even made mention how she "quietly VBACed" with her second child. Not sure if that means it was boring and uneventful, or if she just didn't want to talk about it. While she probably has strong opinions about VBACs, it's not like she's talking about it regularly or encouraging other women to have them.

Julianne Moore, Kelly Preston, many entertainers (Nelly Furtado and Ani DiFranco, to name a few) and the wives of many male celebrities all had home births. Remember Kenny Loggins, a folk/pop singer from the 70's? His wife gave birth at home unassisted, albeit by "accident," because of a precipitous labor. Meryl Streep had all four of her children at home. Pamela Anderson had both of her sons at home, and apparently is a big advocate of long-term breastfeeding. Really? Who knew? I know she walked down the catwalk pretty much nekkid to promote PETA, of all things, but why not do it while having an infant at her breast?

Perhaps a little extreme. But sometimes I just wish these people in positions of "clout" would promote their successful, safe "alternative births" more - like, the way they talk about PETA or environmentalism. Wouldn't that be a wonderful boost for the cause?

One midwife's website that I recently read stated that Gisele was the next celebrity spokesmodel for homebirth or something like that - "move over, Ricki Lake!" I frowned and thought, no need to move over - there's room for many more.

Supermodel Gisele joins the ranks of bathtub homebirthers

GASP! What, you mean there's another one?!


A quick scan of the headlines this morning and I was surprised to read that model Gisele Bundchen is revealing where she gave birth to her son - at home, in the tub. Either whoever wrote it doesn't know "the dangers" of homebirth or thinks Gisele is a big girl who can make the decision for herself, because there were no criticisms, questions or raised eyebrows, just congratulations all around for the new mom and her husband, football player Tom Brady.

Not too pretty to push: Gisele does it her way. 

Although it sounds like Gisele is no dummy - initial reports indicated that she had delivered the baby in a hospital, so who knows - maybe that was a tactical maneuver to fend off the anti- crowd so she could just enjoy her birth and her baby and be left alone in peace.

Perhaps it's still too early, but I haven't seen any criticisms from the AMA or anyone else about her decision. Perhaps they don't read the celebrity gossip pages to know that Ricki Lake isn't the only celebrity to give birth at home. Maybe they think we don't know how to read, or haven't figured out how to use the Google Search function.

I bet after this, in addition to banning homebirths, they'll want to ban bathtubs, too. You can never be too careful when advocating for a mother and child's safety, right?

"Ricki Lake, please stop lying about homebirth."

This is the message on the May 3, 2009 blog posting of Amy Tuteur , whom I've mentioned here on this blog before. She is a mother of four herself, former clinical instructor at Harvard (I think we're supposed to be impressed and bow down, maybe?) and is hugely against home births. At least from her negative, biting, somewhat unprofessional criticism of it.

As I await a copy of "The Business of Being Born" on loan from the library, I think of how women have to fight every day to have home births in this country, and I bet Ricki Lake was like a shining ray of light in the darkness to them. A voice that said, 'Yes, you can do this!' Depending on where you live, it's very difficult, if not impossible, to get good support from the medical community when making this decision. And it's definitely a decision you don't make lightly. Whenever I'm in conversation with someone about the 'dangers of home birth,' I basically say, 'It's not like this person woke up this morning - the eve of their due date - and decided to do a home birth.'

It's interesting, though - if you do a Google search on 'celebrity home births' you'll get some fascinating hits. Celebs who have birthed at home include Meryl Streep, Pamela Anderson, Cindy Crawford, Christy Turlington, Demi Moore and Kelly Preston (some of them more than once). Maybe they wanted to avoid unnecessary interventions, avoid the paparazzi, or whatever - but who really cares? They did it. So how come I don't hear Dr. Amy blogging to Cindy, Pamela or Christy - all of whom have probably birthed less than a decade ago - to 'stop lying' about home births?  Did they either have just really supportive doctors and midwives or were they 'too beautiful, rich and powerful' to be told "no"? What the heck?

Another Google search will reveal tons of criticism about Ricki Lake, though. Included among the headlines are "Ricki Lake's home birth film upsets the AMA," "AMA to Ricki Lake:  No more babies in bathtubs, please" (as if), "Doctors unhappy about Ricki Lake's home birth movie," "Ricki Lake irresponsible to promote home birth," and of course the good doctor's blog headline. Curiously there is no criticism of the countless other celebrities who have also home birthed, maybe because they didn't have the guts to make a movie about it.

While I'm sure the AMA's fear about Ricki's movie is partly due to safety issues surrounding the baby and mother, it's also sending a very strong message to the mothers who want to avoid a hospital birth: not only do they not want masses of women 'jumping ship' and doing it 'their own way,' but that they don't trust you, or your care providers, to make good decisions regarding your care. Blogs like Dr. Amy's - "The Skeptical OB" - seem to reflect the feelings of the "industry" in general: that OB's are increasingly skeptical not only of women who deliver without interventions or pain meds, but also that women can make choices and decisions about their bodies and their unborn babies. Ironically, a woman's rights are more respected when she decides to abort her baby, but when she wants to keep it, it's as if she's merely a vessel and nothing more.

If anything, the movie should serve as a wake-up call to doctors and hospitals that perhaps there is a very good reason why these women chose to birth at home - and send a message to the "OB industry": that when YOU stop lying about c-sections, VBACs, and unnecessary interventions and get over your God Complex, Ricki will stop "lying" about home birth.