What do stay-at-home moms do all day?

The Stir writer and fellow stay-at-home mom Amy Keyishian recently wrote an article in response to an advice column she read: a childless woman was wondering what her friend could possibly be doing at home all day long that she doesn't have time for her? I had to laugh, because her day sounded a lot like mine.

Image: annetaintor.com

Some commenters thought it "depended on the mother," with one pontificating about mothers who "plop their kids in front of the TV all day!" Yeah, whatever. I think it depends on the kid, really, because they are all different. Like I said to another bus stop mom this morning, "It's always something. And the more kids you have, the more 'somethings' it is!"

Sometimes my day starts before it's really begun, if that makes sense. Like when my youngest, a double-barrel finger sucker, is kicking and thrashing in frustration - all while completely asleep - because he's so congested he can't suck his fingers and it's making him very unhappy. Lately he's been waking about as often as a newborn, which is making my sleep pretty much impossible. Sometime after 4 a.m. I rocked and nursed him, and just held him blissfully for almost an hour, until I couldn't stay awake any longer. Then I crawled back into bed with the heating pad, got all settled, and then: my husband's alarm clock went off. Are you kidding me?! 


I'm home all day with my youngest, who is almost three, and some days are definitely more challenging than others. Okay, forget that - usually it's always challenging in some form or another. I don't know about you, but my typical day goes something like this:

1) I vacuum, for the second (or third) time that day. I'm already a freak about crumbs on the floor, but I've learned not to put the vacuum cleaner away until the graham crackers have also been put away. Likewise, don't put the sweeper away until after you've picked up the toddler from his high chair and brushed another mountain of crumbs off his butt.

2) I change a diaper... or seven. Another thing newborns and toddlers (at least mine, anyway) have in common: They freaking poop all the time. Tater Tot loves fruit, and obviously his bowels are in good working order. Again.

3) I run. There is nothing that gets you up from your seat faster than a kid running around with a full, open gallon of milk.

4) We watch TV. Yes, the TV is usually on. We're not always watching it, but when we are, we're usually discussing the finer points of Dinosaur Train or something similar.

5) I play trains. I must admit, I can create a wicked Thomas the Train layout. The other day, Tater Tot pointed to me and said, "You Emawee." (Emily) Then he said, "You say 'woo-oot!'" When I say, "I have to eat breakfast," he says, "No." Um, okay.

6) I go shopping. Because for every three items I remember to buy, there's like six I forgot. (see #2 - diapers.)

7) I try to leave the house. (again, see #2) For every kid you have, I've found that you need to add like 10-15 minutes of prep time. Because someone always has to poop or pee literally seconds before you're ready to walk out the door or a shoe/jacket/hat/glove just cannot be found.

8) I referee (usually from the shower or the toilet). Because each of my kids seems to think that once the bathroom door closes and their hear the lock click, surely this is the perfect time! to destroy something or each other.

9) I help with homework. Sometimes this is harder than all the other stuff combined, because for some reason they apparently don't do math like they used to anymore.

And then there's all that other stuff, like cooking, cleaning (is that poop on the carpet?!?), Facebooking... what do you do all day?